There’s been some great half time speeches: Tony D’Amato, Herman Boone, Maximus Decimus Meridius. They’ve made winners of losers, they’ve uplifted the downtrodden and given men hope and a common purpose. The one thing they’ve all had in common was a powerful messenger. The messenger is always someone who steps from the shadows with a clear vision of the landscape, the experiences to be able to cut through the fog and the compassion to actually care about the team and the end-game.

My favourite was always Al Pacino’s in the movie Any Given Sunday. That was until I was given my own personal locker room speech. Delivered by my personal coach, mentor, best friend and love of my life, Roxi. She has seen my challenges, my mistakes and my whining. She has seen me fall, get up and fall once again. She’s even had to pick me up a time or two. And yes, she’s heard every single excuse I could ever muster to justify and explain away the failures in my life. Through all that she has listened, advised, empathized, bitten her tongue in silence and watched me slowly create my own demise.

Half-time came on Wednesday…

Roxi saw the writing on the wall and knew that it was time to speak from the heart. It was time to collect the years of silent witness and frustration and put it all together in a speech that would kick some ass. Her words were clear and without practice, they were delivered straight and without malice, it was the facts.

The failures in front of me were not accidents and they were not other people’s fault: they were a product of my willingness to become average. They were there because of fear, but mostly they were there because I allowed them to be. I had given up the fight and was willing to accept what the world was giving me without so much as a whimper. I had lost my way, my jam and was slowly laying down and giving up one day at a time; the outcome easily predictable.

She reminded me though, the choice was mine. The path was still there waiting to be taken. What I needed was to dig deep. To find the desire and the ambition to pick myself up and get back on the  path and take responsibility for my own life. Success is a decision we make, not something we are graced with. Yes, we absolutely have a choice. We can choose to fail or we can choose to fly.

Speeches like this can only be delivered by those who love you. They’re a gift from the heart and a flame the wise man follows.

-Billy

I see running shoes. The kind that tell you their owner is serious about using them. Not for cutting the lawn or strolling down the aisles of Costco but for putting ‘em on, tying the laces, jumping up and hitting the road! They’re not always the most expensive and aren’t usually the flashiest; what they are is the kind that you can tell are being used for what they were meant: to get somewhere fast.

When I first started in business I had a hunger, partly brought on by a lack of money, but mostly brought on by a desire to get better and bigger. I looked for opportunity in every situation. Each new acquaintance was sized up for their potential as a client. When I was part of a network scene, I really believed that I could meet someone who would help me on this journey of mine. Each new product was another opportunity to fulfill my client’s needs and build a better relationship. These were glorious days; exciting days, the kind that had you waking up three hours early and heading into the office just to get started.

A colleague whose achievements were formidable was worthy of awe, their success a result of hard work and bold moves. There were things to be learned and every bit of new information gleaned  was another piece of the puzzle, more leverage on the road to greatness.  It wasn’t the money, while that was certainly a motivating factor, it was about being better than everyone else, rising up from someone who had no experience, no fast moves and no entitlement to becoming one of the chosen. It was the dream of all of us.

Somewhere along the road the hunger can fade. Whether it’s comfort, apathy or cynicism, you stop believing in the dream. You begin to justify your situation, repeating to all who will listen well thought out intelligent reasons for your lack of progress: “The best got there through circumstances”, “the industry has changed”, “client’s have changed”,  ”regulation is getting in the way”, “the competition is much tougher than the old days”, “revenues are shrinking”, “only the big guys will survive”.  The only thing that has changed is my attitude.

Somewhere along the way I started believing my own excuses and accepted my fate, along with the rest of those folks who’s only goal was to hang on to their mediocrity and not finish the race last. It is a bad place to be and reminds me of a passage from a Dr. Suess book that I read to my daughter when she was younger:

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

So here I sit with the past clearly in my  rearview mirror, I look ahead to the open road and know that it is mine to decide. The speed, the direction, the intensity and the music are all mine to choose. I can pass whoever I want, I can stop and help those in need and share my good fortune, I can take this ride to places I have never known and to heights I have never seen.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Dr. Seuss, Oh! The places You Will Go.

It’s time to lace up my running shoes and get back on the road, I can see a glimmer of the path ahead once again. I’m running!

-Billy

It’s ironic how you can see something over and over and never really see it. Like the stonework in your neighbour’s front yard or the floral arrangement in the lobby of your office that’s fresh each week; you acknowledge their presence on some level but are never really conscious of them.

Every morning I take the dogs out for their walk. Above me on the hill lives a neighbour, an older gentleman who spends each morning working in his yard. In the part of his property that faces the street we walk down, he has grown an amazing garden. It runs the width of his yard which is close to 75′ and has planted it on two tiers. He has put up poles in perfect rows for his beans to climb, built an arbour so his grapes will flourish, fenced to keep the deer away. The tomatoes are planted in the bottom tier so they have space to grow and all day sunshine.

He never misses a day to care for his garden. Each year he provides rich new soil for the roots to grow strong. He pinches off the dead leaves, sprays when necessary to remove pests, waters them by hand on the really hot days and picks the fruits and vegetables as they mature. His  manner is that of a parent, protecting and nurturing his children as they grow through challenge and success.

Every morning I walked by the spectacular results of this man’s labour and never really considered the wisdom and insight that he silently offered me each day. For some reason things came into the focus this morning, this is what he’s been telling me:

1. Long term success is achieved not through the occasional heroic burst, but through a consistent daily effort.
2. To build something of value, one must immerse themselves in it and always be aware of the true state of things.
3. The key to achieving any goal is to plan well, know what you have to do, be prepared to put the time in and finally, do the time.
4. Any accomplishment requires preparation in advance, hard work in the middle and care in the end.
5. Our actions are more than simply isolated events, they are daily living proof of who we really are.
6. Nothing great comes from desire alone, caring and patience must be it’s constant companion.
7. Life’s real lessons are right in front us; there to be learned any time we choose to open our eyes and see.
8. We do nothing alone in this world, help comes from many places, often sources we never know.

Long live the gardeners of this world; may we all learn from them,

-Billy

Well it’s been a week since I laid down my  plans and I’ve fallen way off the wagon already. I managed to get to bed at a decent hour once-three times after 12:30 am, got the clothes together once and even had a sense of what I was doing the next day a couple of times. The gym!  Aaah the gym, well I did my strength training one day and hopped on the elliptical for 45 minutes on another. Managed to read 2 or 3 nights and thought positive thoughts many times; thinking and doing as Yoda knows though, are two very different things.

All in all it was a weak week! So what do I do about it? Kick my ass, feel sorry for my lot in life and then pick myself up off the floor of failure and take another shot at it. It’s simple stuff, but no-one said simple’s the same as easy, so here I go again, back to the salt mines on the road to living the perfect day.

-Billy

No personal overhaul would be complete without an exercise program – this one is no different. There are as many workout regimes out there as there are people to do them. I’m thinking they all work to some degree or another as long as you have the core components of consistency and discipline, the rest is all a matter of what motivates you. The exception here is competition at an elite level, every inch counts and programs matter.

That’s not here, I have my official weekend warrior status and that is about as competitive as I’m planning to get. I’ve mostly bounced around different exercise plans over the years. Full body workouts, different muscle groups each day, pure cardio, pure strength training, Cardio distance, cardio interval…. you get the idea. I’ve always enjoyed cardio because of it’s repetitiveness, it helps me to tune into what my body is doing and monitor my progress. On the strength side of things, the full body workouts have always left me feeling that I’ve accomplished more and am having a bigger impact on my strength. By doing back to back exercises I can impact my cardio as well.

So this brings us to the plan as all preambles do. In choosing a workout regime, I have to consider the fact that I will be playing indoor soccer and hockey throughout the winter. That’s Sunday’s and Thursdays if history repeats. I will do three days strength and two days cardio training. I have a great elliptical trainer at home and a membership at the gym in my office building: all technical excuses have been dealt with! Strength days will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday with cardio on Tuesday and Thursday until hockey starts. I’m OK with subbing days if stuff comes up throughout the week.

The Workouts: starting date August 3rd

Cardio

• 3 days per week
• 45 minutes per session
• eliptical trainer or treadmill: interval training

Strength

• 2 days per week
• 1 hour per session
• 4 sets of 15 reps of each exercise

A side note for those who like to collect and input data, there’s a great iPhone app called appropriately iFitness. It enables you to record, analyse and email results of your workouts, it also has video and static examples of over 230 exercises. A built in timer with audio and the ability to change weights and reps on the fly. Much better than notebooks, sheets of paper and random writing instruments. I use it all the time and it rocks!

So there you have it, the next installation on the path to perfection. By the way, I tried the sleeping thing last night, no computer, read for the last hour and lights out by 11:00 pm – this is along weekend remember. Funny thing is, I feel tired today. I’m guessing like everything else your body needs time to catch up after all the abuse ones heaped on it. I’ll let you next week.

And finally, this is going to be a weekly blog going forward unless something strikes me throughout the week that just has to be put to “paper”. Too many things to fix, not enough time to talk about it. I’m also looking for a way to post my results in a graphical format so that I can hold myself accountable for my commitments and progress, any ideas?

Pumped up,

-Billy

Sleep comes hard for me and when it does, it’s rarely followed by a reasonable amount of shut eye. I’ve been rising between 5:30 and 6:00 am for almost 20 years now. So it doesn’t matter if I go to bed at 10:00 o’clock or 1:00 in the morning, the eyes open as the sun rises.

The real problem is my pre-bedtime habits. I stay up too late, I’m on a computer too long and too late , I’m not prepared for the next morning that evening so thoughts of things I need to do swirl around in my head as I try to nod off. While I don’t generally eat at night nor drink caffeine drinks, the occasional 10:00 pm Blizzard makes it’s way into my evening repertoire and that just can’t be good. The result is a habitually tired, cranky, unprepared, de-energized ineffective fool.  A fool because the answer is obvious and simple as well. All the rest because I refuse to do the obvious.

The Solution

So, this becomes my first tangible step in the rebuilding of  my life: from today on, Sunday to Friday the computer is off after dinner, my next morning’s attire  and work stuff are prepared for the next day by 9:00 pm, and the last hour before bed at 10:00 pm will be spent reading (the value of which will be covered in another post). I realize that all rules require exceptions, and weekends will be allowed to be a bit messy, life is about balance.

The Upside

The benefits will be massive: I will have energy in the morning, do you remember waking up as a child full of p&v with the whole day to look forward to? My mind will be clear as I wake and the world will seem a far more inviting place. I’ve been reading as well that your long term sleeping habits play a significant role on your weight and body fat levels. I will have increased focus which for an ADD kid will be a real bonus, better stamina and ultimately better physical health (the first step on the hunt of that elusive six-pack),  a photographic memory and great attitude!

Here’s to sleeping like a log!

-Billy

It’s Saturday and the beginning of the Evolution.

The Goal? To undo 49 years and 5 months of bad habits. As I sit here approaching the halfway mark of my life I’ve realized that it really is a finite thing. Through most of our younger years (meaning anytime between the ages of 0 and 49…) we see time as an infinite resource, one which we can take for granted knowing there will always be more. We put off working out and keeping our bodies healthy; we ignore those around us who mean the most because they will always be there; we put in less than our best efforts at work because it’s something we are going to be doing for a long time so what difference does a day here or there make? We spend money like there is no tomorrow because we know we always have another day to make more and we ignore the calling of our soul because it’s a big mystery and we have lots of time to solve it.

So as I was sitting here thinking about the sum total on my life, of all that brilliant logic, I realized that I was actually running out of time. So I made a decision that the next twelve months would be dedicated to fixing all that was broke and I would use this blog as a way of keeping track of the journey and a way to keep honest about my efforts. I don’t have a plan as usual but how do you plan something like this? I don’t think you do at first, you observe yourself, be honest and take a single step knowing that it will lead to the next one.

I was out with the dogs this morning and ran into a former neighbour’s daughter who was out walking their dog. We talked a bit and I asked her about her soccer, her parents and about her summer; the response to all three questions was the same: Awesome! And when she spoke she looked me in the eye and you could tell that she really meant it. As I thought about her attitude afterwards I realized that things would turn out awesome for her because she believed it and really had no reason to think otherwise. So the lesson and the goal today is to be positive; see the upside and focus on the good stuff.

Here’s to an awesome day!

-Billy